I was recently talking with some coworkers at lunch and somehow the topic of breast technologies came up. Keep in mind that a woman was at the table, so she was there to fact check all of our ideas.

The first problem to be addressed is that of large breasts causing back problems while also being inconvenient when running. I came up with the idea of personal helicopters. The idea is to allow a woman to have large breasts without the associated problems.

Next, we have the internal inflatable silicone breast implants. The remote controlled pump resides in the stomach thus achieving results similar to a stomach staple. The pump is powered by clockwork that is wound by shaking. This means that occasionally the woman will need to do jumping jacks. It is recommended that the breasts be deflated before doing them.

In any case, just think of the scripting possibilities! You could set them up to deflate when you go to sleep (to make it easier to breath while lying on your back) and to inflate when a person approaches (you'd need to set up motion sensors around you to make this work).

Woman who don't like walking around with a helicopter may like the parrot-copter better. And, while supplies last, all parrot copters come with one free eyepatch! And, with every purchase of two parrot copters you will receive a free pirate hat!

An alternative would be to put wire supports under the breasts which are attached to the belt. This moves the weight off the backbone and onto the legs. Of course, this is much less interesting. I think that most would agree that parrot copters are a much better solution.

Of course, one copter may not be enough for some woman. For them we have a shoulder rack with landing pads for up to four copters.

Version 5.1 last modified by Geoff Fortytwo on 11/07/2010 at 17:06

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Creator: Geoff Fortytwo on 2008/05/12 01:18
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