TheHappyCampingTrip

The Happy Camping Trip 1

by Geoff Busker (that was my name before I was Geoff Fortytwo)
The age at which I wrote this is unknown, but it was probably in middle school or highschool. I don't think it was much younger because it was written in pretty legible handwriting. I've made a few minor capitalization and formatting fixes, but the plot is unchanged. You may be happy to know that the story received an "Imaginative! A" grade from the teacher. We found this at home last year during xmas. When I read it to my family we were all laughing so hard that I could hardly get the words out as I read it.

Without further ado, here is "The Happy Camping Trip".


"Hey dad lets go camping." I suggested as I ran in the door. Dad said, "Sure, sure, right after this show is over." Me, my dad, and my brother went later that night after we were done packing. After the first night as soon as the sun was up Dad exclaimed, "Our food is gone!"

We should have left first thing, but dad was determined. He took the machine gun we had brought along and went into the woods following a trail of fur leading from the food. He never came back.

After 2 days we started getting scared. My brother started wailing. We followed the trail dad had followed. My brother and I went through the woods until we reached the Pacific Ocean. We stole a boat and followed the floating hair in the water. We sailed for 3 days, when my brother got seasick and jumped into the water and swam out of sight before I could do anything.

I sailed for 2 more days when I reached the USSR. I got enslaved on Happy Time Concentration Camp in Siberia. I saw my brother there and he said, "I swam to Hawaii and bought a helicopter." My brother got murdered later by a guy that got mad at him for making a swimming record in the Guiness Book of World Records he had made 3 years ago. My dad was really sad for my brother so he committed suicide.

My mom got worried after the first 3 weeks we were gone so she rented Rambo and followed our trail of fur until she reached Siberia. Rambo killed the Russians for my mom and she was happy until she saw Rambo's bill. His bill was $37.99 an hour. He worked for 2 weeks so it came to be $12,764.64. My mom had a heart attack when we got home before she paid him and I've been living in poverty ever since.